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Want a piece of this? Credit: Alexander Hassenstein. There, Japan only averaged The results are based on self-measurement.

Or maybe American men are just more honest with regard to their wieners? The survey was only conducted among the 40 countries where Tenga sells its products.

Once African and South American men develop an appetite for meticulously manufactured self-pleasuring tools, it might be a whole different ball game.

Take the Congo, as Tokyo Reporter smartly points out. Incidentally, neither of these genitally rich countries has any Olympic medals this year.

Or South Korea. Related Stories. The long-lasting scars of Japanese American internment. The pandemic has disrupted how we grieve.

History forgets to mention why she failed to warn the second guy. Finally a third, more determined suitor, a blacksmith, created an iron phallus that broke the demon's teeth; the man won over the beautiful woman while the demon presumably returned back to the ether to receive quite the lecture from his orthodontist.

The shrine is humble but has stood the test of time. Made of old stone and boasting a small but pretty network of traditional orange torii gates, it was built in roughly CE — but is now more famously home to the festival — in prim and proper Japan, an unusual but charming celebration of the sacred and the profane.

While beautifully frocked Shinto priests in the shrine celebrate the thousands-year-old god, long worshiped by prostitutes fearing disease and pilgrims worried for their fertility, a different sort of celebration is going on outside, as tens, if not hundreds of thousands of partiers take to the streets.

Revelers carry penis lollipops funny to look at, but not particularly tasty , phallic vegetables, and enough whimsical toys to stock a year's worth of Las Vegas bachelorette parties.

They enjoy them all while snapping not-quite-ready-for-Instagram selfies and watching a parade of all of Kawasaki's manliest men, struggling to carry a bunch of giant junk through the street.

Local families and businesses work for months to make the enormous genitals carried on the shoulders of teams of men through Kawasaki's tight streets.

Three, in total, are carried around town; two are of metal and one, true to Japan's contemporary anime-loving culture, is of the cheery, bubblegum-hued cartoon variety, and lofted by 18 fellows wearing glitter and fantastic makeup.

For the prudish, it might be hard to see, but it does have its benefits: These days, sales from the festival — penis clothing, candy, food, toys — rake in gobs of money every year, put duly to work toward HIV research.

But as soon as he brought his prized possession back out, the groupie grabbed it. Jordan fell down and sprinted home.

Within 10 minutes, his whole shaft—base to tip—was black and bruised, as if it had been through battle. Flabbergasted, Jordan flocked to Facebook to post about his crazy encounter.

Ten thousand miles across the Atlantic, his friend Jonah Falcon—himself the owner of an abnormally big penis, reportedly the biggest in the world—was the first to comment.

This is how it goes for guys with huge penises. Per data in the Journal of Sexual Medicine , the average flaccid penis is somewhere between 3.

Steixner says. See the 5 Craziest Penis Conditions that Dr. Steixner has ever treated. Todd measures 10 inches erect, Jordan one-ups him by about an inch, and Falcon boasts a whopping Being famous for having a big penis sounds pretty great, and to be fair, all of the guys we interviewed for this story have used their good fortune to their sexual advantage.

Falcon, for example, became a fixture in the horny NYC underground club scene thanks to his hog. In my 20s, I was like a kid in a candy store.

Compare that number to how much you have to carry the burdens of it around, and the sexual ratio is quite the minority. Take something as simple as riding a bike.

I end up just sitting on the thing. If I want to go for a nice ride in the country, the pain distracts from the euphoria of the journey itself.

Using the restroom is an equally dicey proposition.

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